Once I figured out the multifaceted, multi-flavored nature of my path, I made a realization: the path I walk doesn’t matter in and of itself. What matters is how the path speaks to me and teaches me meaning, how I respond to it that meaning and that education and how deeply I commit to it. Which path I walk doesn’t matter. The fact that I walk it with a devoted heart and mind does matter.
And, for those of you like myself who worry that we aren’t doing things right or aren’t living up to some imaginary standard, I have another important and hard won lesson. There is no all seeing eye judging the worthiness of your path. The only judge of my path is me! The only judge of your path is you! The moment we try to copy our path from someone else or some manufactured standard of what the path should be, we actually fall off our path and open the door for doubt and fear about every future step we take. That doesn’t mean we don’t learn from others, change, or evolve as we walk. If we don’t evolve. It doesn’t mean that we don’t borrow, take influence from, or syncretize our path. It means that we have to be responsible for it and to it and that we have to move forward on it.
Thhe path exists. it exists before you walk on it and after you leave it. The path exists whether or not you are aware of it whether you are sitting or standing, awake or asleep. It waits for you, it beckons for you, whether you have a full bank account or no bank account. Spirit and the realization, integration, relationship with Spirit is what matters. Everything else are just sign posts along the road to that path.
Avoid The Mind Trap Barriers
It’s far too easy to get into the mind trap which says that I will arrive at my path if I only I have this one thing, this one person, this singular experience. When we are stuck in that trap, no path seems to fit and nothing seems to move forward and we look to any external source to lay the blame for our unease and immobility. Either we have to change or we have to change our path, but all of that is beyond any external attainment. I know because I’ve been in that trap so many times that it has hampered and come close to eternally and completely crippling my efforts to find and walk on my own path. You and I are the keys to all paths, not anything we do or have or earn.
I have also made the deeply self-sabotaging mistake of thinking that I couldn’t walk my path until I felt I could step onto it as an instant expert. Since expertise is only gained by walking that path, this is only walking a fast path to nowhere. We must enter with a beginner’s mind be prepared to learn.
Magician, Know Thyself!
Following that path of rejection, you can easily imagine that I didn’t get anywhere and didn’t move forward and found myself on the same hamster-wheel treadmill time after time. It was my own personal samsara inside the grand Samsara we all share. I want nowhere and I went nowhere fast. At the same time, my interests, the subjects that interested me never wavered: magick, hermeticism, kabballah, meditation, witchcraft, Tantra, and all the philosophy associated with any of those disciplines. Even when I tried not to read about them, think about them, research them, I couldn’t escape them. So, I spun in a circle of nothing until I finally gave up and let the path speak to me instead of my trying to dictate to the path. Had I only just listened to myself and been open to what I head hard, I would have been underway on my path a long time ago.
In the words of a great teacher, I just jumped. The path caught me and now I move on it not against it. The path introduced me to Spirit, the Spirit that is waiting deep inside of me and all around me sparkling like an infinitely jeweled sky!
I continue onward.
The Perceived Danger of Inventing if Yourself
One thing we have to be aware of is that when you’re defining your own path, we could be just making stuff up. is the constant internal chatter what we are making things up as a form of self sabotage. We have to discern between the two and remind oursleves as long as we are not deluding ourselves and ignoring facts and evidence and science. Our path has to constantly flow between education and experience through the lens of our ever evolving judgement. It’s a dance and we may get it wrong but we have to forgive ourselves and keep walking.
All Paths are The Path
To put it philosophically , any spiritual path we take is just a different modality, a different riff on a path that has the same intertwining goals: better yourself, better the world, encounter Spirit or HGA, or Goddess/God or whatever higher intelligence speaks to you. We learn things we didn’t know before and perhaps couldn’t learn otherwise. We increase and improve; make ourselves and the world bigger!
If we don’t take our paths to our hearts, and I would argue if we don’t walk the paths that are in our hearts, we won’t go anywhere. it doesn’t matter what our mind may argue or protest about our perceived lack of readiness, attainment, or expertise. We are ready , we have more than enough, and we know what we need to know to jump and start walking. If we don’t take our paths to heart, it’s just a chess game where God/Goddess are the pieces on an abstract board and we are only pretending at a path.
What paths do you follow, what sings to you, speaks to you, calls you to a new dawn inside yourself?